Dec 2013 15

This is a note to anyone visiting santa in the mall this year.
Quite a few times I've been asked what being "Santa's Elf" is like. Is it hard or frustrating?

Honestly, its pretty cool. And im someone who DOESNT even care about christmas- I just love working with kids.
HOWEVER! If you want to know the absolute WORST part of the gig- ITS YOU F**KING PARENTS!! I don't care if your child is screaming bloody murder on the set. We all think its hilarious that they're crying in santas lap. What IS a problem is when you hold up the line for 15 mins insisting that your child is perfect and not a cryer, so if we can't get them to smile then we must be doing a terrible job.

No. F**k you. Your child is afraid of santa this year. They may have been fine last year, and they might be great next year- but this year is the year that your child is afraid of santa. Accept it, love it, and proudly email that picture to every f**king relative you know so we can laugh about it. Then revisit it in 20 years, show your child the picture of how terrified they were, and laugh about it all over again.

DO NOT make us keep taking pictures
DO NOT make us hold up the line in a hopeless attempt to amuse your child
DO NOT keep putting the child back on santas lap
DO NOT tell us the pictures are terrible because your kid is crying
DO NOT blame us for your child's behavior.

To be honest, youre kinda traumatizing your kid. Good f**king parenting, huh?

[by Sandra on Sat September 19, 2015 01:32:33 am]
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