Apr 2011 12
Tue April 12, 2011 07:31:52 pm
I mad as hell and feel like crying n yelling... and you dont even know you are pushing me away...always bringing up the past and what you dd today proves to me just how much more mature Iam than you. you told me a story and left out details n then gone try 2 flip the script in put me into the situation so you would feel so bad and guilty...im glad that we are not keeping the baby it will be a reason that we had 2 be together...i so tried of trying to prove my love to yu when you are always the one doubtimg us constantly bringing up the past and ur making me miserable...words can not express the anger and pain I feel right now...i wish it was easy to let yu go n i wish could tell yu face to face ut ur a whole state away...I have changed i only talk 2 one guy i honestly try to do the right things but the past always finds me...even if its nothing yu make it into something...i try not 2 upset yu and spoil yu i deserve better i deserve some one that will love me n get over the little things sometimes i wish God would turn ou into a pillar of salt for always dwelling in the past...im so over you being a crybaby grow up... i have learned its not me its you thats why we cant work I dont do anything anymore but bend over backwards trying to please you and im starting to feel unappreciated....I love you with all my heart and some kind of way i look over all ur wrongs and imerfections but yu see all of mine and point them out one by one and i starting to hate being in love with you b/c i cant let go and i cant help but to see you as my perfect angel even though you are far from it...you have hurt me just as much as i have hurt me...we might have not used the same methods but my heart cant take it anymore the constant back n forth of im leaving now im staying i wish i would have ended before so much time and emotions were invested... im turning to the angry B*tch that i once was and i dont being like her. i just want to be happy and i want to be loved and shower someone with all my love without being judged and rediculded or being tested all the time.