Aug 2012 14
Tue August 14, 2012 08:41:45 pm
I\'m bipolar with social anxiety and extreme issues with depression. I thought I should start with that considering it colors everything I do. I avoid people. I stay home when I can. I don\'t talk unless I need to. I\'ve built a bubble around myself that\'s kept me mostly under control. Because when I lose it I feel like the best solution is suicide, which is something I\'m not prepared to do but think about often. I\'m happily married with a spouse that is so supportive. He\'s really an angel for someone like me.
That being said almost six months ago we moved into an apartment with one of my cousins. She pays half the rent we pay half the rent. I thought it would be fine. A six month lease that we could see how everything works out. She\'s great. She understands that I have...issues and she never pressures me to do stuff I don\'t want, like talking or hanging out. It\'s her friends that bug me because...let\'s face it...she hangs out with some unsavoury characters.
These people are...into some stuff that I\'m not prepared to deal with so when they come over I just stay upstairs in my room. It works for me, everyone is happy. I don\'t ask what they do. I don\'t listen to their conversations. I don\'t get involved in their business and life just keeps marching on. Until about thirty minutes ago when they got my house attacked by some random little gang-banger.
I heard this loud noise downstairs and immediately thought gunfire. I rushed downstairs with my phone to see if everyone was okay and if I needed to call an ambulance. What I see is a bunch of people acting crazy and shouting about getting revenge and teaching people a lesson for throwing full beer cans at our house, waving a gun I\'ve never seen before, and rushing out into the night.
Before one of them leaves he sees me, realizes that my first reaction is to call the cops, and he orders me not to. I....can\'t...disobey a direct order. I wish I could. Once he told me not to...I couldn\'t. I can\'t even look at my phone to call my husband who is at work because it will stress him and he can\'t come home no matter what.
So we live in an apartment and some of my neighbors, despite the fact it\'s night time, are outside hanging around drinking in front of their doors. It\'s something they do all the time and I have no problem whatsoever with it. My cousin\'s friend with the gun goes over to them demanding to know if they threw the beer. They\'re raising their hands because he\'s got a gun and saying they didn\'t do it but they saw who did.
The last I saw of the little lynch group going out of my apartment was when they went around the corner of the complex in search of the people that did it. I have no idea what\'s going on down there anymore. I...can\'t go downstairs to ask again. The friends of my cousin treat me like I\'m s**t because I want to call the cops and that makes me a snitch.
No that makes me a citizen of the state who\'s responsible and wanting someone qualified to help. It makes me someone who wants the police to handle it so that tomorrow after they beat up or shoot whoever did it that persons friends don\'t show up to shoot me while I\'m downstairs watching t.v.
Tue August 14, 2012 09:57:59 pm]
So sorry... but glad to hear you have support in your husband and cousin. Need to make a plan to get out from this level of life you and your husband is leading.. must find a way out.
Sun August 19, 2012 07:54:19 pm]
Wow, that sounds pretty bad. I know it's your family and all but it sounds like you need to get out of that situation. Just make up some reason to tell your cousin and your friends - you don't plan on saying anything but that you and your husband are going to have a kid and just want a safe place nearby a park or something. Be careful, weary and make sure you find a way out. Even a smaller place month-to-month that's in a safe place is better than the situation you're in.