Oct 2009 19

i've realized i'm pretty much incapable of having any sort of intimate relationship with a girl. i hate how awkward i am around her... i wish i could just talk to her and say all the right things and feel good about it for once. instead, i play it safe - TOO safe - and our conversations go nowhere if they ever even take place. why the hell do i have to be like this?... this seems like such typical teenage boy problems. i know i'm not the only kid like this, but still... that doesn't make me hate it any less. i just want to like a girl that likes me back, and to act on it and have some f*cking balls for once. this just makes me feel like an incompetent, uninteresting, immature maggot.

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