Apr 2010 29


Here's a list of all the stupid sh*t I've had to deal with since getting stationed in California and it only been 4 month.

-First! I joined the Marine Corps, but lets fast forward 4 years.

-I Show up and I have a single chip in my EGA and I got my a$$ chewed by 4 corporals and 2 sergeants.

-2 weeks in I get chewed out for not knowing how this new command works, because God forbid that going from the east coast to the west coast that things might be a little different in my job field.

-A month in my corporal tell me to set my bag of equipment in the shop and go to chow and to hurry because I'm wasting his time having to go to chow after I come back from a job. I get back less then half an hour later and another marine decided to play a prank on me for lack of keeping my gear in check and hangs it up outside (My Corporal told him not to but, he did it anyways.) The equipment gets stolen not even 5 minutes later with no suspects of course. The military police show up and the criminal investigation department shows up. No leads. Guess who gets in trouble for all of it... now just imagine the stupid sh!t my NCO's had me doing because of it too.

-The day after the stolen equipment incident, my dumba$$ gets pulled over for speeding home on base. I admit that was my fault for going 10 over in the dark. However, guess what awesome information I got to learn that day! My license has been suspended for 3 and a half months horray! I get put in the back of a military police vehicle and taken into custody. Waiting for my 'amazing' sergeant to come and release me to my wife. I let you imagine the repercussions after that.

-Almost 2 months here and I get a prank pull of me by the whole shop. I'm pulled in by my 'amazing' sergeant and told I am going to get deployed to Afghanistan in 3 days. I sign a forged document that seemed legit and am told to start calling my family and letting them know the news. I do so, first call to my wife, second to my best friend and lastly to my mom. With there reactions I started to tear up a bit. My corporal finds me tearing up after being on the phone and laughs telling me it was joke. I'm thinking, "Wow they got me good, nice one.". Half an hour later I get chewed out by my 'awesome' sergeant and staff sergeant about how I need to be more combat ready mentally and how I'm fu#Ked up for reacting that way for friends and family. I remember a line being used in particular from my 'awesome' sergeant (who has a wife) on how if the marine corps would have wanted to have a wife they would have issued me one... Thx Major Payne...

- 2 and a half months of me arriving. I come back from the rifle range to the shop and lo-and-behold my Sergeant informs me that he saw my wife talking to a financial advisor and asks if I've been having financial problems. I tell him that H&R blocks online tax system messed up and I ended up owing about $2500 in taxes and that just in case those numbers were legit I would need a small loan and I have plan to speak to a tax professional to make sure that those numbers were incorrect. Instantaneously, I get told how retarded I was for fu#king up something on my taxes and that I'm a dumba$$ for not telling him sooner when i found out. Furthermore, if I don't get it taken care of before the next day I'm going to get NJP'd for not following a lawful order. This happened about 5pm... the tax center on base was closed... all tax centers out in town close at 6pm and I still need to go home get in civilian attire (Because marines can't be out in town in their uniform). I live 30 minutes from base, the nearest tax center is 15 minutes way from my house, I don't have a drivers license, my wife would get off work for another hour and no one in my shop is willing to drive me. FML

On top of all this, my shop is always shifting marines, my life at home sucks because I'm living with 3 pets i never wanted that always manage to do something wrong (i.e. chew something up, eat something that can kill them or knock sh!t over) I'm still waiting for my suspension to be lifted, I'm one of the most screwed up marines you'll probably meet apparently with how much everyone seems to fu#king hate me.

The list goes on and on with all the other stupid sh!t that happens in my life I only mentioned the big things! I seriously suck at making decisions or some sh!t because as much as I want to take a weapon to my head and end it all I'm stupid enough to put up with all of it waiting for the last year of my enlistment to wrap up in hopes of life getting better.... but I swear to God with all the sh!t that happens and that I do I think the world would be 10 times better without me fu#king it up. I hate my fu#king life. Thanks for reading....




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