Oct 2009 08

I F*cking hate myself! Everything that I do i feel that it f*cking drags me down! I eat my emotions and I can't stop! I just want to explode right now! I worry so much about my future that I feel that I will never, ever enjoy my life... I take things way to seriously and never enjoy anything because I expect the best out of everything that I do....I I'm seriously sick of myself and I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes I feel that I that I have a mental disorder and I don't know what to do about it... I want so badly to live my life the way I want to, happily. But everything I do I second guess and I can never establish any f*cking confidence! I honestly just want to quit... I am not social at all, I haven't had a f*cking significant other my entire life and I'm f*cking lonely.... I can't stand it! I can't tell my family because I don't want them to think that I need some f*cking professional help. Maybe I do, but I'm not going to run to it just yet. Maybe I'm just experiencing what normal young adults do.... I F*CKING SDAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

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