Nov 2009 27

I am writing this in hopes it will somehow be theraputic to me. If it annoys you I don't care, if you want to post any negative response you might as well save your time, because yes i know this is lame.

We can't be together,
and I know why, at least partially.
I want you to be happy, and I knew this wouldn't last. Its just that sitting with you today was so hard. Of COURSE I remember when you put on one big sock and one small...silly. I want to be your friend, but when I sit on that bed and look at your gorgeous face and unbelievably cute smile and it takes every last ounce of energy I have not to embrace you, and smell you, and feel your comforting presence. shutting you out of my life would be stupid. but I don't know if I can go on longing for you so badly when you no longer feel the same way. It hurts me somewhere to not be with you. And I know that chemistry is still there which makes it even harder, because you would be a great friend. Plus now when I am around you I feel akward because I feel like a lovesick little boy. I know our relationship wasn't even a year, but it feels like I have known you since my childhood, being around you makes parts of me come to life that are usually neglected and gathering dust in my brain. I hope I can learn to accept that its over, but when I think about you I get mad that I can't be with you, and it feels like I am always going to miss you. I have dreamt about you almost every night since we broke up. I am just miserable right now, but I don't want to dump it on you. i hope this helps me get it off my chest. because i highly doubt you'll read it. I wrote songs about you I never could show you, I even sang for the first time. I remember when you said we should put a cup of water outside over night to see if it got below freezing :) I remember when you came and visited me at work with cookies all those days ago, and you got all cute and flustered when you forgot your card. I miss the way you ran at me and punched and kicked, and the noises you make, and the way you pick at your food when your full. I miss your scarves, I miss your pillows, I miss trampoline ideas, and your strong support of teleporting ;) I miss bagels and english muffins and asian pears and funny smelling incense from china town. I miss looking forward to spending the holidays in the city with you. I guess I'll have to learn to accept it eventually. Plus some things I won't miss. But they are HEAVILY outweighed by everything I will miss. You are amazing, but you know that. I just want to say I love you one more time. I'm going to miss you so much but I would never want you to betray your feelings for anyone especially me.

I love you.

sorry if you clicked this hoping for something better.

sweeeeet dreams errybody

[by Aoi on Wed March 17, 2010 01:18:58 am]
that....was so sweet TT_TT! i kinda did expect something different, but that was seriously the sweetest thing i have ever read, on here that is. dude, i hope u find a girl that u can make happy, cause seriously, u seem like such an awesome dude, writing songs for her!! thats just so sweet! gosh i wish u find a girl that will make u both happy, and all that mushy stuff that other people would say lol.

[by Missy. on Mon May 17, 2010 11:33:17 pm]
Omg. That was seriously something you would hear in a movie. How effin sweet. Whoa. That girl is missing out!

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