Apr 2010 30

I HATE my life. I really do. It seems like nothing ever goes right. Now, I know people have it worse off than me and that always makes me feel like I shouldn't be so depressed and cry myself to sleep every night. I just can't find the motivation to try anymore. and when I do try, everything falls apart. I've been messing things up like crazy lately and always saying the wrong things.The guy I'm in love with used to be my best friend..now we hardly ever talk because he stopped caring. He doesn't have feelings for me, yet I'm in love with him. My parents fight nonstop 24/7 for the past four years and I can not handle it anymore. One of my oher best friends has Lung Cancer.. and he really doesn't deserve this. He already has so much going on..he's been through more than any teenager should have to go through, yet he remains an amazing, optimistic guy who is there for anyone. I'm so worried soemthing is going to happen to him, and it's killing me. I can't stand living in this city or this house anymore. I can't stand school.. I used to love it.. but now I'm too depressed to even be around people. My mom is way too strict on me and whenever I try to discuss somethign with her, she yells at me for having an attitude. I'm SO tired of being yelled at by her. && nothing I ever do satisfies her. I mean, I'm a striaght A student, I don't drink, do drugs, smoke.. I have to be in at 9:30 (I'm 16) and I'm not like the unclassy little w*ores my age. Evidentally, I don't get why she can never appreciate anything I do. She always complains about my being lazy or staying in my room all the time. What she doesn't know is that I stay in this room 24/7 because I'm too depressed to be around my family-anyone. If I were to tell her that though she'd say "You're not effing depressed! You don't even know what depression is. I've been depressed for years.. So don't hand me that b/s". She never takes me seriously, and she's so judgemental. I'm losing everyone in my life so fast and I have no clue why. I wnat so badly to start over, but I have no idea how to do that when I'm in the same place with the same people everyday of my life.. and it's not like I'm old enough to move. I've even considered suicide so many times. The onl thing that keeps me going.. is that I don't want to hurt anyone by ending my life. Not that anyone would care anyway. I really don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep for the past two years.

-A hopeless, heartbroken teenage girl, on the verge of giving up.

[by TAMIYA on Sun May 9, 2010 10:23:59 am]
i know how u feel thats exacly what im goin thru cryin every single day gets tireing but no body seems 2 care n then u just dont kno wat 2 do

[by Olivia on Tue May 11, 2010 12:06:40 am]
... you're not alone. they say the darkest hour is right before the sun rises... yeah sometimes i think thats a load of sh*t too but its proven itself a couple of times to me... good luck, keep hanging in there... you're not alone.

[by Missy. on Mon May 17, 2010 07:41:33 pm]
To justagirl, So i feel like we have alot in common. My mom is exactly the same way. She is very strict and only thinks her way is the right way. Im 19 and she's only losened her grip a little bit. I dont smoke, drink, or party. But sometimes i want to be able to just go out and have fun without having to worry about getting home or my mother calling me. Deealing with her and trying to spend time with my boyfriend as much as i can is so difficult. She never wants me going out. So i know exactly how you feel. Plus i barely have any friends left. So just look at the brighter things that make you happy or feel good during your day. Try and do things for you :) Nice to know im not alone!

[by Anon on Mon May 31, 2010 09:14:00 pm]
my life is a lot similar. even i have thought of suicide too but the only thing that keeps me going is the status ive built up through my years of life and dont want people to think any less of me...

[by Weird Cookie on Sat July 3, 2010 07:20:08 pm]
I could tell you my life is just like that(because it is) but I think this would be more benifical. To tell you that you're not alone in how you feel. And when you feel down you should remember that things will get better eventually. Being a teenage girl sucks. I know I am one. You either have it easy or you have it sh*tty. There's no in between. But you're not alone. Remember these comments and how we are going through the same thing. And I feel like I sound like that weird girl from mean girls that doesn't go to their school and is just crying and says "I have a lot of feelings." Lol. But yea. I hope all that made sense and I hope you remember us when you're sad.

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