Oct 2009 25


Dear sir, First, I want to compliment you on your ability to express yourself freely. Your astoundingly high self-confidence and your up-beat personality really made an impression on me. When you coughed in my face and then walked right past, head held up high, I couldn't help but think how nice it would be to be able to ignore the world and really start focusing on myself. When you placed your entire weight on the pole next to my seat, and swung wildly while amidst a coughing fit, I considered how refreshing it was to see someone who didn't have to worry about germs. After all, if you don't cough on your hand placed over your mouth, you don't really need to wash your hands as often. Why didn't I think of that before? Think of the hours of my life, I've spent washing my hands, simply because they've blocked my coughing. What a complete waste. You sir, are an inspiration to us all. Even now, as I lay on my couch, too weak to move, sick for the 8th day in a row with some impossible virus that will not go away, I can't help but be grateful for all you've given me. If it wasn't for you, I would have gone out all weekend, nay all week, and spent time with my friends, gone to restaurants and bars and embraced my old ways. You sir, have given me the gift of time and have saved me a tremendous amount of money. I vow never again to be so blind sir, and I want to sincerely thank you for all you have given to me. Sincerely, Your Secret Admirer




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