Nov 2009 01

dad - I hate you. you disgust me. I used to admire you when I was 5. you were my hero. as I started growing up I started to realize what kind of man you really are. I hate you're extremely bad/short temper, your constant lying, your emotional neglect, physical abuse, and disrespect for my mom, siblings and me. Because of you I have built a wall around me as to not let ANYONE in, because I find it horribly difficult to trust ANYONE at all, including myself!! Its hard to have any normal, healthy relationships with any one, let alone guys because of the type of "father" figure you were. Unfortunately I see a lot of you in myself and that scares me to death. I have no dad. mom - I know you wanted to keep up appearances and save face. but sometimes a divorce is better than constant fighting, especially around your young children!!! I honestly believe that my life would be so much better if he wasn't in my life. Kicking him out of the house a year ago was the best thing you did, but then to turn around and let him come home?!?!?! that destroyed me. I know you love me and I love you too, but the fact that you are always putting me down and insulting me, calling me fat, ugly or stupid, makes it really hard to live with you anymore. Because of that I have zero confidence in myself. It shouldn't be a surprise to you if one day you come home and find that I'm not there. I'm moving out. I can't take it anymore.

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