May 2011 26
Thu May 26, 2011 12:32:00 am
I hate myself. Why? Because the most person that i loved in my family was my dad. He said he would hate me after this day. I didn't mean to upset him, but when he said it, all his anger was real, it wasn't a stern tone. It was real. So much tears is coming out as I'm typing this. That's how much pain im in. This wasn't just a moment, he meant it. He swore to it that he would hate his daughter for the rest of his life. I don't know what to do, I'm so desperate for answers. I want to kill myself and die. I want to make him happy, by killing his source of hatred. I really don't mean to make him angry. Dad, if you're reading this you don't know how sorry i am. You keep saying how much I hate you and everything. I don't okay? I'm only 13, i dont care if you call me stupid, i dont care if you say swear words to me, i dont care how badly you treat me, i just want you to forgive. Sooo much, from all the mistakes i made. I'm already angry at myself, so much. I know im a burden to you. But i want to ask you one thing. If you hate me, why don't you kill me already. I'm in so much pain I'm so desperate for comfort. the reason why i cant talk to you is because you shutted me out first. I'm so confused, i dont even know what to do anymore. If you want to me to die, I'll go kill myself, if you want me to go live somewhere else, i will. i dont care about myself anymore, you don't know how sorry i am. I know you can't forgive me, it's not like you.
Just say you'll hate me and i'll be on my way...
Thu May 26, 2011 09:15:51 am]
Hi there ,I do not now how u feel ,i'm not on ur body but do not think the way u thinking about kill ur self that wont fix anything.if u need some one to talk call or tex me at 510-909-1737 ,but don't even think about that ok
Wed June 8, 2011 02:10:09 pm]
People say things when they are mad... Cruel mean things. If you have ever heard the quote "Hurt people hurt people" - there is much truth in that. Please call someone and do not think about killing yourself. There is another saying..."Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." I know it is hard to believe, but your life will not look the same in five years...or ten. You're growing up. It is painful. There are people who care. There are people who were in your shoes when they were your age and their lives are so much better now. I am sure they are glad they didn't hurt themselves. For the ultimate inspiration - read the book of Job in the Bible.
1-800-273-8255 Call this number if the thought of hurting yourself even crosses you mind.
Mon June 13, 2011 09:14:01 pm]
Breathe...you're going to be ok....trust me & take really excellent care of yourself. I wish I could do more than type words right now - I can hear you're really in a lot of pain. I hope that just know that others are thinking & praying for you will help to get you through this tough time. I'll say a prayer for you right now & for the next 30 days....if you're not the religious type & that turns you off, I'll also just "think pleasant thoughts & send them your way" right now & for the next 30 days. Hang in there :)