Sep 2010 06
Mon September 6, 2010 08:05:17 pm
I wish my mom never would have ditched me and my dad. I hate her new boyfriend and the fact she's slowly killing herself by drinking so much. She's has diabetes is 37 years old and pretty much parties and drinks every single night. Her new boyfriends is a piece of crap. He uses her to sleep with her and doesnt even care about her health. Everytime I tell my mom i hate him and that i wish she would leave him she always says "oh he makes me happy, dont you want to see your mom happy?" and yeah i do want to see her happy but not in this way. Ugh sometimes i feel like she never wanted to become a mom and thats why she ditched me. I feel like she never wished she gave birth to me. Im 15 and still have a lot of growing up to do. I still need my mom with me. And know ever since she left my dad and me he can barley even afford rent and were stuggling. She doesnt pay child support cause technically her and my dad were never married cause the marrige papers never filed through correctly or something like that. Thats another reason i feel like she never wanted me. like if she really cared about me she wouldnt want me stuggling and barley making it through every month right? I love my mom to death and would take a bullet for her yet i barley see her at all anymore. Shes hurting me so bad. I just wish i had the old mom back who i would come home from school and see her every single day happy to see me. Not the alcoholic mom i see once a week. I dont know what to do. Everytime i say something to her she makes it sound like shes doing nothing wrong and im just purposely making her feel bad. I dont know what to do and i just wish this would all end.