May 2010 06

i feel lost, stuck, misplaced. i dont think im interesting, pretty, or smart. i f*cking hate that im not attractive!!!! sure some ppl think i am but when i see pretty girls with nice bodies, nice hair, nice smiles i just want to hide in a closet and slit my wrist!! i want to feel important but i know im not. i will never matter, i will never be famous, i dont have a talent. i feel like God was making a cruel joke when he made me, i grew up poor with a crazy mother. i dont know my dad, i was raped twice, im just used for one thing and thats sex. whenever i like i guy, i chase them away with my craziness. i HATE HATE HATE MY LIFE!!! i want to cry all the time. oh and im fat!!! im FAT FAT FAT!!! i daydream all the time about how my life could be different. im not motivated to do anything. i just dont know what to do anymore...i dont know how to live..i dont know how to just be content with my life. i want to just run away..far away and disappear. life is just not fair. i wasnt meant to be here. i dont believe in god, i dont believe in anything. this world is a cruel nightmare i cant wake up from...f*ck you and interesting stories and your cool clothes and your nice skin and your nice bodies, f*ck you f*ck you F*CK YOU!!! i wont stand in your way, i wont bother you with my existence...i will just disappear....

[by ms.tina on Thu May 6, 2010 08:00:16 pm]
oh and i know no one will reply because im not witty and my post just seems stupid...

[by Lisa on Fri May 7, 2010 06:53:10 pm]
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I just got dumped two weeks ago and I feel like f-ing garbage. I wish you and I were having a drink and we could vent like crazy hyenas. : ) I'm even going to bookmark this page to make sure you respond to me.

[by Lisa on Fri May 7, 2010 06:54:56 pm]
Ooh, I just read the part about being raped (I guess I skimmed too fast). I don't know what that feels like, but I know it must be terrible. I feel badly for you. If it makes you feel any better, talking with you made me feel better for a moment because tonight I was feeling really awful. I felt better to feel someone else was in the dumps like I am. Maybe that's cruel, but it made me feel less alone. : (

[by ms.tina on Sat May 8, 2010 08:37:03 am]
its not cruel.. sometimes it does make you feel better to know someone else out there feels the same way you do. i hope you feel better and i wish we could have that drink :)

[by Lisa on Sat May 8, 2010 10:07:02 am]
Oh good. I'm glad I didn't say anything rude last night, I had had a few drinks on my own! Are you feeling any better today?

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