Sep 2009 06

please tell me why is it that you can pay for your 20 year old daughter to do anything she wants even though she hasn't worked in over a year, and doesn't lift a finger to help in the house, and you give her whatever she wants and more and more money every day and you tell me it's not my business what you pay for? i am the one who cleans the house who cooks the food who worries and freaks out and cleans like crazy so that you don't get upset that your house isn't perfect. i am the one who sleeps in your bed and has been working since age 14 without a break and who woke up at 5 am for months to make sure your kids got to school, and took care of you when you got sick- so why is it that today i am in a store with you standing in line while you buy 6 shirts for you and your friend, and even though i am only holding one thirty dollar dress you don't take it and offer to pay? because i am not important to you? i am important enough to clean your house, sleep in your bed and do everything that comes with that, take care of your kids, but you haven't given me one single present in years, and i have to watch you spend all your money on friends/ what does that mean? i am not friends or family apparently............what am i to you? it isn't about the money, it is about watching you be so generous with everyone else, and so cheap with me, when i am the one who works harder for you than anyone. i am the one who actually cares for you, while everyone else sponges off you, but you don't feel like ever giving me one little present, and it's not about presents, it's about being appreciated......let's see, what if i decided to spend all day laying around, screaming at you, never helping you and being a parasite- i would be out the door. well guess what, you can keep your parasites, and you will. but when you get old, they will take all the money you left for them, and they will never visit you in the nursing home. i would have. i would have cared for you no matter what until the day you died. but you feel that i'm not your responsibility and your choices are not my business. fine. but i am the only winner in your life, and you are about to lose out big time. i love you and i want to take care of you, but when you choose everyone else over me you push me away. you are so smart but you are stupid. you have someone so in love with you that they will care for you in your old age, but you decide that your parasites are more important. i love you but i am losing love for you. i stood next to you while you paid for everyone else, and then i paid for myself. for too long. it's not the money, it's the feeling. you know that i am poor and you are rich. you know that i clean your house and sleep in your bed and take care of your kids, and that whenever anyone sees us they are shocked that i am with you because i'm so much younger. you know that i love you with all my heart and that every second with you is a treasure. you know that i gave my life for you and quit everything to move into your house and then you held it over my head ever since....that it is your house....i love you and i love to be with you but i am tired of you putting me last. i am tired of you putting me last. i am tired of being in last place. i am embarrassed of being in public and being last place. in public. so pay for your mentally ill drug zombie ex.....o wait you already do...........or your loser slut daughter............wait you already do.........or your pervert son............wait you already do................and yet I was willing to deal with all this sh*t, ,,,,,,and you won't even buy me one thirty dollar dress?! you are the biggest loser, in the end, if you continue, you will end up with nothing. it's too bad for you, because the best you can hope for now is to continue your life with someone who is willing to take care of your kids because your ex is a zombie/druggie/psycho and to help you while you are away, to steer them into decency and a good adult life, and then to live with you and make fun happy retirement years, and then to care for you if you fall ill and are unable to care for yourself. that was me. i was ready and willing. you promised me a life together and because of our age difference i knew that these things would arise, but i didn't care, because i love you. now you don't kiss me, barely show affection, i clean and cook and break my a** but you don't appreciate it. i spend all day dealing with your adult daughter who doesn't work and doesn't help, i behave like her friend even though inside i'm so pissed off............that she won't help and you give her everything and me nothing i didn't want you to face it. but

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